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Gifted ADHD children often hear, “You’re so smart — why can’t you just try harder?”
On the outside, they may look capable. Inside, they may feel like constant failures. This mismatch between potential and performance is painful — and misunderstood.
Gifted kids with ADHD can shine in one area and struggle in another. The uneven profile leaves them feeling inconsistent and misunderstood (Antshel et al., 2007).
Intelligence doesn’t erase difficulties with planning, organizing, and following through. These gaps are frustrating when others expect “genius-level” consistency (Barkley, 2011).
Gifted children often set impossibly high standards. Combined with ADHD struggles, this can spiral into shame and low self-worth (Neihart, 1999).
Shift the focus from grades or achievements to effort, growth, and persistence. Say: “I’m proud of how hard you tried,” not just, “You got it right.”
Help kids recognize that mistakes and struggles are part of learning. Encourage journaling or affirmations to counter harsh self-talk.
Attention training and other resilience-building practices help kids manage uneven performance. Over time, they gain confidence that their effort matters as much as their ability.
Gifted ADHD kids don’t need more pressure to be perfect. They need support, compassion, and tools to manage the gap between their potential and performance.
Q: Why does my gifted child struggle if they’re so smart?
A: ADHD affects executive functions, so intelligence doesn’t always translate to consistent performance.
Q: How can I reduce perfectionism?
A: Model self-compassion and celebrate effort, not just outcomes. Kids learn resilience when they see mistakes as part of growth.
Q: Can gifted ADHD kids thrive long-term?
A: Absolutely. With support, they often channel their intensity into creativity, problem-solving, and leadership.
Q: What tools can help with resilience?
A: Behavioral strategies plus cognitive training can strengthen confidence and persistence.
This article was originally published on Breakthrough ADHD and is republished here with permission.
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